Having a Baby Overseas

As a WAF, you never know what kind of experiences + opportunities the Air Force will throw your way or what kind of crazy situations you’ll be put in. Living in Italy was one of those that I never dreamed of. Being stationed in Europe for a second time was another one of those “that would never happen to me” opportunities. I always pictured my parents, in-laws + siblings rushing to the hospital when they got the call that I was in labor, pictures of them holding my newborn baby + having my mom close enough to come over to take care of me + my baby in those first days as new parents. Never in a million years did I think I’d have a baby in Germany, thousands of miles away from family. Like I said, the military has a way of throwing you a curveball when you least expect it + over the years I’ve had to learn to just go with it.

My husband + I have been together for 12 years + we’ve been through a lot together; 5 years of long distance, deployment, deaths + multiple PCS moves. We got the privilege to travel the world together while stationed at Aviano, Italy for 2.5 years so we were ready for the next chapter- starting a family! My husband was in EOD school at Eglin AFB when we got the news that we were moving back overseas not even a year later to Ramstein, Germany + a few weeks later we found out we were pregnant! I was over the moon excited to be pregnant but couldn’t help but also feel scared + anxious knowing I was going to spend the second half of my pregnancy overseas + give birth in another country so far from family.

I’ve put together some tips for how I thrived in this experience that will hopefully help other WAF Mommies out there do the same! I’ve also included the birth story of our sweet baby boy, Luke (because come on…who doesn’t love a birth story?!)

Optimism is your friend

Many of you may be thinking, there is no way I could have a baby overseas + what was the experience like? How did you do it? Trust me, I thought all of these things most of my pregnancy. But the thing is, you COULD do it! WAFs are strong, resilient bada** independent women + we are different (in a good way) because not everyone can live the military life. Planning an overseas move is already physically + mentally stressful, adding pregnancy hormones on top of it was intimidating! For me, moving 4 times in the past 6 years has taught me that being a WAF there are a lot of things that are out of my control + I found that the power of being positive really can make a difference in a shitty situation. Positive thinking won’t only allow you to be happy but will give you strength to deal with almost any situation. When I arrived to Germany I was 23 weeks pregnant. Instead of feeling sorry for myself + sitting on my couch doing nothing, I chose to be positive and find things to do that made me happy (also good for the baby)! I took advantage of all the wonderful resources on base, I got out of my comfort zone to meet new people, I volunteered (+ was the USO volunteer of the Month), I worked out almost everyday + we got out of the house to explore the beautiful cities around us. Staying busy, being positive and staying connected to family + friends is what made my pregnancy overseas much more enjoyable.

Be resourceful

It seems like there is a Facebook group for everything these days, which can be good + bad. Overseas bases really take advantage of the power of Facebook to connect people for events, selling things, advice, meeting people, you name it! What many of you may not know is that there are about 65,000 Americans over here in the KMC area. Ramstein has a group that was created for women in the area that are expecting a baby in 2018 (2019, etc) to share information, resources + to network with other moms and for marketing items to include (but not limited to) doula services, prenatal yoga classes, photography, etc. I found this to be helpful and it’s also a great way to meet people + planning playdates.

Remember, every situation is different and every pregnancy experience is different so what may work for someone might not work for you. With that said, don’t let being stationed overseas scare you; embrace the challenge, you can do it! Yes, it’s very far away and the time difference isn’t in your favor when it comes to staying connected to people back home, but you find a way to make it work (thanks to FaceTime and social media)! There are so many wonderful resources that the military offers, the hospital is one of the best, + there is so much to see and do over here! Travel while you can, it’s easy + inexpensive + a once in a lifetime opportunity! Again, instead of sulking in your sorrows + looking at your time overseas in a negative light, try to find the positive in each situation thrown your way, even if it may seem impossible (like having a baby overseas). Use your WAF community + reach out for help, advice or a friend!

I had a couple girlfriends connect me with two first time moms who had recently given birth here at Ramstein (WAFS helping WAFS!) so I immediately reached out via Facebook and started asking a million questions about their experience, what to expect, etc. In the months leading up to my son’s birth, I had friends, family + even complete strangers ask me if I was nervous about giving birth overseas. My initial answer was yes, how could I not be! However, after talking with the new mommies (who are now my close friends) they reassured me that I was in good hands + everything would be okay! They had nothing but wonderful things to say about their experience before, during + after giving birth at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center.

Keep family in the loop

Tiny Beans is a free Modern Family Album app that makes sharing photos of your family (in my case, Luke) easy! It effortlessly keeps memories + pictures organized in one safe space and allows family + friends to see all of your pictures you chose to share without flooding people’s newsfeed. I highly recommend using Tiny Beans (even if you aren’t overseas)! I have added pictures of Luke to Tiny Beans every single day since he was born (he’s 11 months old now!) which makes it fun to look back + allows family back home to see what Luke is up to everyday! This app is wonderful for military families, especially for those who are TDY or deployed. My husband LOVES the app when he is gone, he wakes up and goes to bed looking at pictures of Luke on Tiny Beans.

Remember, TRICARE is not the enemy

As WAFS we are aware of the many pros + cons we face living this military life. Health care is an important benefit that we are all entitled to + I want to give a big shout out to TRICARE for giving me one less thing to stress about while being pregnant. With free visits, no copays or bills + as long as you get your medication at the on base pharmacy, you aren’t paying for those prescriptions either. Having a baby is expensive + eliminating the cost of medical bills can really relieve some financial stress. In most cases, your TRICARE plan is different when stationed overseas because your only option is the hospital on base so you don’t have to stress about finding a hospital or provider who accepts your insurance, it’s a one and done here. (In the KMC area, you do have the option to give birth of base at a German hospital which some people choose to do). The one thing I don’t like about being seen at a military hospital is that service members are always coming and going, TDY or deployed so you aren’t guaranteed the same doctor each visit which was the case for me. I saw a midwife at my 38 week appointment + 5 days later when I went into labor, she happened to be working + delivered my baby! I was so thankful I had someone there who I liked + was familiar with. She made me feel so comfortable + cheered me on through labor!

Take advantage of the freebies

On Base Resources

Being stationed overseas provides a lot of stressors, unknowns and inconveniences. People may think that overseas bases don’t have as many resources available, however, they offer just as many resources to spouses + families as stateside bases, maybe even more! The military wants to make your move + time spent overseas as easy + comfortable as possible.

Here are some of the wonderful resources LRMC (Landstuhl Regional Medical Center) offers to pregnant women. And yes I attended all of these classes which made me feel so much more prepared for baby Luke’s arrival.

Expectant Parent Orientation: Information is presented on topics such as passport services, Tricare, WIC-Overseas, birth registration, calming baby, nutrition during pregnancy + more.
Comfort Measures & Relaxation for Childbirth: This is an interactive class for any expectant parent who wants to learn about techniques to help mom relax + feel supported during childbirth. Topics include touch, labor positions + aromatherapy.
Basic Training for New Parents: This class provides expectant + new parents with education on topics including basic baby care, budgeting, infant CPR practice, bonding + attachment, what to expect after you bring your baby home + how to comfort your baby. This class also includes a tour of the Labor + Delivery unit + Mother Baby unit.
Dads 101: A Crash Course for New Dads: This class is run by dads for dads. It covers many topics, from what to expect during pregnancy + labor, to basics in caring for your newborn once you get home.
Baby Bumps Prenatal Class: In this class you will learn about labor and delivery, newborn care, breastfeeding + other topics.
Centering Class: This is a class for women who are all expecting within 4 weeks apart from each other + starts when you are 12 weeks pregnant. Instead of a regular visit from your provider, you meet with the women (+ their spouses) from your centering class which focuses on different pregnancy topics. After each class, the nurse spends time with each woman to check on mother and baby. After 20 weeks, they bring in different people to talk about safety, postpartum depression, preparing for childbirth, birth registration, breast feeding, post-partum care, etc. This group is mostly for first time moms + is a great way to meet people and share experiences.

Breast Pumps & Supplies

If you are covered by TRICARE, it covers breast pumps + breast pump supplies at no cost for new mothers who plan to breastfeed. You must have a prescription from a TRICARE-authorized physician (the OBGYN gives you one of these at your 28 week apt). TRICARE covers one manual or standard electric breast pump per birth event.

They couldn’t make it easier on the mother-to-be. You have two different options for receiving your breast pump:

Go to www.thebreastfeedingshop.com, upload your TRICARE form you received from your physician + submit it. That’s it! You don’t even have to get out your credit card + wait for reimbursement!
Go to the BX or go online + buy a breast pump (make sure it’s one that is covered by TRICARE) + bring your receipt to the TRICARE office on base + they will reimburse you. (I heard this can take a couple months to get paid back)

Luke’s Birth Story

I was 38 weeks + 6 days pregnant + so ready for baby Luke to arrive! My husband had the day off so we met our friends at the outlet mall for the afternoon (which included a lot of walking). Once we got home, we made a spicy pizza + I bounced on the birthing ball for a good hour hoping it would help push baby down + get him ready to make his arrival. We got into bed at 11pm that night + turned on a random episode of Friends, which happened to be “The One Where Rachel Has Her Baby.” (not kidding) I looked my husband + said, “What if this is a sign?!” (kind of joking), thirty minutes later my water broke in bed, it was go time!

I was in shock, terrified, overwhelmed but so excited because Luke wasn’t supposed to come for another week. My adrenaline immediately started pumping throughout my body + I don’t think it stopped until days after giving birth. I had no idea what to do next, how my body was supposed to feel, or how long it could be before Luke would be here (Minutes? Hours? Days?) My husband jumped out of bed, changed his clothes, packed his bag + loaded up the car. He went into complete dad mode. He was calm, cool + collected the entire time (I’m sure he was freaking out on the inside). Meanwhile, I was pacing the room back and forth, freaking out that we were going to have this baby + trying to find a position that helped relieved some pain during each contraction.

During one of the pregnancy classes, I was told to wait until my contractions were 1 minute long, 4 minutes apart, lasting for one hour before coming into Labor + Delivery. After my water broke, nothing happened. I kind of freaked out because I didn’t know what to do. About 10 minutes later I began feeling what I assumed were contractions. They started off pretty light + about 5 minutes apart. We began timing my contractions on my pregnancy app because damn it, I was going to listen to those nurses (which later backfired, we should have gone in right away in my case). After an hour had passed, my contractions had gotten a lot stronger + closer together so my husband said we need to call the hospital. They told us to come in so they could check my progression + would see if I was actually in labor. As soon as we got into the car, something changed. My contractions were at another level + very close together (I knew baby Luke was coming + coming fast!) It was 12:55am, it was dark + we were the only people on the road (thank God) because my husband made a 20-minute drive to the hospital a 12-minute drive, he was hauling a**! All I remember is staring up at the stars through the sunroof screaming in pain “Babe I can’t do this, I am going to have this baby in the car, HURRY!”

My husband pulled into the ambulance parking spot, left everything in the car + sprinted (in my case waddled) as fast as we could to L + D. According to the timing and severity of my contractions, they immediately put me into a room to monitor baby + check my dilation. I was 9cm dilated + she said, “You’re having this baby VERY soon!” There was no way I was having this baby without an epidural! To be honest, my entire pregnancy the one thing I was scared of was giving birth. People can give you advice, you can go to all of the birthing classes but nothing can actually prepare you for this moment. Everything is out of your control, but the one thing I thought was in my control was the epidural. Dilated at 9cm + contractions coming every 30 seconds, there was no way I was getting that epidural. This was the moment where I had to dig down to find the strength + courage to do this without any medication.

During each contraction I was having very intense back labor to the point that no position was comfortable. After trying multiple positions, the back pain continued until I laid on my left side with my husband standing behind me literally pushing against my lower back as hard as he could during each contraction + every push. I had a nurse to my left side + a midwife down low ready to deliver the baby.

Everything had happened so fast that I never had any time to process what was happening. Once they turned down the lights, turned on some music + essential oils, I could finally relax. My husband was the best partner + teammate, helping me push + whispering gently over my nerves when he saw the fear + pain rushing in. I literally could not have done it without him. I always pictured my mom + husband in the room during labor (no offense to my mama), but I’m really happy it was just us. It was such a special moment that we got to share together + will cherish forever. God bless those nurses! They were so helpful, supportive + knew exactly what to say to calm me down because shoot, I was scared as hell! We were in perfect hands though. After pushing for about an hour and a half (which felt like only 20 minutes) baby Lucas James stole our hearts + changed our world forever at 3:21am! The pain one experiences giving birth naturally is something that words cannot describe. However, for me, I knew it would only be painful for a short period of time + knowing I was about to meet my baby boy was the one thing that gave me strength to push like hell. As soon as he was born, a wave of euphoria filled my entire body. The pain I felt during labor felt like nothing compared to the love I now endured. I cried as I held my baby boy for the first time. Looking him straight into his eyes, his smell, his warmth, every single thing in that moment was the best moment of my life and the entire thing was an out of body experience for me. It felt surreal that he was finally here, that he we made him, that he was all ours! I have never felt so proud, empowered or more of a bada** after giving birth. Our bodies are incredible and giving birth is truly a miracle!

After Luke was weighed, we did skin to skin + soaked in being a family of three, it was time to call our families. This is where being stationed overseas really gets tough, for moments like these that are supposed to be spent with family. But again, it’s all about your outlook on life + how you choose to spend your time overseas. Do you want to be negative Nancy or do you want to embrace the opportunity, the culture, the experiences you were given + choose to see the positive light in the “curveball” the Air Force decided to throw your way? I am truly thankful for every experience I’ve had while stationed overseas + hope this post has empowered some of you (maybe expecting mamas or WAFs coming overseas) + shown you that you are stronger than you think! You can do it and it will all be okay!