My motherhood journey has been a wild ride and I have loved every minute of it! I am in no way an expert motherhood guru, but since today is all about celebrating us I thought I would share a little bit about what I have learned during my six lifechanging years of being a mother. Because let’s be honest, your life is never the same the second that baby enters the world!
A little bit about my story – My son was a miraculous and unplanned surprise. If you can relate to that, you probably know how I was feeling! He is the best thing that has happened to myself and my husband, and a constant joy every day! Or almost every day 😉 After a few years of applying, interviewing, praying and waiting, my husband’s lifelong dream of becoming an Air Force pilot came true. And within months he was gone to Officer Training, I packed up our house, quit my beloved job of 6 years, and we moved 2,000 from our comfort zone to begin the Air Force journey. If you are like me, sometimes motherhood can feel a little overwhelming. And especially as WAFs, sometimes we are doing this whole parenting thing solo while our spouse is off on TDY or deployment. It’s hard at times to balance everything and everyone without the help or support of your significant other. It’s in those times I remember that I have the most rewarding job, even if sometimes it feels exhausting and overwhelming. It is truly a blessing. Take it day by day! Here’s some things that helped me, and that I hope can help any new (or experienced!) mama out there!
IT’S OK TO NOT HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT.
Am I too strict? Am I not strict enough? Should I feel guilty for working and putting my child in daycare? Should I feel guilty for staying at home and not working? Nowadays with social media, it is easy to feel that ‘mom guilt’ and compare yourself to other moms who look like they’ve got it all figured out. What I like to remember is that no mom is going to be posting that living off coffee-haven’t washed my hair in a few days-no bra-no makeup selfie. Obviously, people only post the good stuff so remember that when you feel that guilt or feeling that you don’t measure up.
Everyone’s journey is different and unique.
REMEMBER WHO YOU WERE BEFORE YOU BECAME A MOTHER.
When I became a mother, it was amazing how much my priorities shifted and my focus became all about my son. It wasn’t just about me anymore, which is kind of a scary thing to realize. You are responsible for the well-being, nurturing, and raising of a tiny human. As important as that is, I believe it’s equally important to make sure you remember to take care of yourself and do things every now and then for you. Schedule that solo coffee date for some quiet time, go to a class at the gym to sweat it out, throw on a face mask during nap time, paint your nails, or just take some time at the beginning or end of your day to do something that you enjoy. Even if it’s silently enjoying a cup of coffee or glass of wine while scrolling Instagram or Pinterest, take the time to breath and give yourself a rest.
JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE CURRENT PHASE YOU ARE IN, IT CHANGES AND YOU’VE SURVIVED!
My own amazing mother gave me this advice. She raised five of us on her own (GOD BLESS HER) and I have found this to be so true. There are those phases that every child will go through. I am talkin’ the sleepless nights, teething, tantrums, potty training, the “no!” defiant stages, sassy attitude phase, not listening to a word you say phase… I could go on and on! When you think you might lose your mind and need to check into the nut house in the midst of those phases, it ends and that season changes and look, you survived it! It’s encouraging to know that you survived those past struggles and you are now (hopefully) ready to tackle whatever crazy phase comes at you next!
GIVE YOURSELF GRACE
There are those days where you have gotten that sleep you need, had time to shower and get ready, get out the door on time, and have the energy to get it all done, but then sometimes there aren’t. Which is totally ok. Embracing that struggle, throwing your hands up in the air and deciding to try again tomorrow is the best way to give yourself grace. I know that sometimes I think I can do it all, and the reality sometimes hits me that I can’t. We aren’t supposed to be able to do it all! Whether you are a working mom, stay at home mom, step mom, foster mom, or any other sort of mother figure to a child, you already know that you are overworked, underpaid, and just straight tired sometimes! But the rewards outweigh the struggles, and being a mom is truly the best job you can have. Cheers to all of you! Happy Mother’s Day!
XO, ALEX
