When I got married in the summer of 2023, my husband and I were in the midst of planning for a PCS to Ramstein Air Force Base. We were stationed at Little Rock Air Force Base, where my husband was completing a TDY flying the C-130J.
Upon returning to our home base, Laughlin Air Force Base, we had just a month left before our overseas move. Everything was set: moving trucks scheduled in two weeks, temporary housing arrangements (TLF) abroad in the works.
However, things took an unexpected turn when my husband, during SERE training (SERE stands for Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape. It’s a rigorous training program that prepares U.S. military personnel to survive and “return with honor” in challenging scenario) it was discovered he was severely claustrophobic. This unforeseen development kept us grounded at Laughlin AFB. What we initially thought would delay us for only two weeks turned into over a year—yes, we’re still here. My husband has been undergoing therapy and is preparing for his third round of SERE training.
So… what about you? How do you cope during times of exhaustion and when nothing seems to go your way?
Here’s what I’ve learned from this waiting season:
1. Get Involved
Whether you’re in a place for two weeks or a year, plug yourself in the community. Alongside my remote job, I found a job off base where I substituted and connected with students and teachers. It made me feel connected to the small town. My husband and I also discovered ways to serve by volunteering with the Coalition on the border. This not only gave us a fresh perspective on our town but also kept us busy.
2. Friend the Locals
Build relationships not only with other military spouses but also with local residents. While many of our military friends were relocating, we found stability within our church community and with local friends who were here to stay.
3. Create Goals
Initially, I hesitated to invest time in goals because we might leave soon. However, a few months in, with uncertainty rising, my husband encouraged me to set sustainable goals. Simple things like trying new recipes, running everyday or writing a blog twice a week gave me a sense of purpose and accomplishment.
4. Support your Spouse
During this time, while I was navigating my own identity crisis, I realized the crucial role my presence and support played in our family life. Listening to my husband, offering encouragement, and attending to practical needs such as meals and cleaning provided him with space to pursue his hobbies. This strengthened our marriage and supported his mental health significantly.
5. Find Sustainable Rhythms
Every morning, I make sure to get my electrolytes and coffee ready before taking my dog for a walk. I then settle into my desk to prepare for work. Afterward, I either attend a workout class or follow my developed workout routine. These consistent routines have significantly supported my mental health during this uncertain season.
Even during the frustrating waiting season, remember that you matter. Your job and your actions do not define you. Being a wife, a mom, or a friend makes a significant impact on your home and those around you. When you’re exhausted and uncertain about the next base, don’t hesitate to seek help, confide in a friend, or consider therapy. Remember, you’re not alone, my friend.
Meet Lindsea
With a dream of doing ministry overseas, she found herself married into the Air Force world. Originally from Colorado, Lindsea now calls Texas home with her husband of one year and their sweet Cockapoo, Mylo. He serves as a C-130J pilot, while Lindsea works as a communication specialist for Acts of Mercy, a ministry focused on disaster relief. They share a passion for travel, skiing, and ministry. Lindsea enjoys hiking, baking cookies, and mentoring high school and college women. She’s also an author, with her book “Remember the Why” inspiring many. Follow her adventures and be encouraged on Instagram @LindseaCastor as she embraces life with faith, adventure, and a heart for the world.
