You’re engaged. You’re excited. You’re poppin’ champagne, logging into your Pinterest account, and starting to take down notes in the wedding planning journal you just bought from Target. As you’re scrolling through all of your perfect pins, you’re quickly realizing that this wedding planning business isn’t going to be a walk in the park…touring venues, food tastings, floral design, securing a photographer, picking out the perfect band or DJ, dress shopping, dress alterations, bridesmaid dress shopping…the list goes on. Then it hits you, not only do you have to figure out all of these logistics, but you have to do it from the other side of the country (or WORLD) because of your military lifestyle. You start frantically Googling “how to plan a long-distance wedding” only to realize this isn’t a problem most people have.
Don’t panic. Long-distance wedding planning isn’t something new to most military couples and with generational changes, it’s becoming more common with non-military couples! My husband and I were living together in Tacoma, WA when we got engaged. We quickly began planning a wedding that would take place less than 10 months later…in Syracuse, NY. Safe to say, I learned quite a bit about long-distance wedding planning in that process and what I didn’t have the answer to, most of milso friends did!
Between us, I’ve pulled together a quick post highlighting 5 ways to make this whole long-distance planning project easier on you AND your spouse!
1. Invest in a Wedding Planner or Coordinator
This alone will save you so much heartache. Having a center point of contact that isn’t you, especially on the day of the big event is a game changer. This person is not only great for following up on things that have slipped through the cracks, but they can help you coordinate all of the teeny tiny details that need to be ironed out locally without you having to be there!
2. Ask for Help
The likelihood that you picked a place to get married where there was at least one side of the family close by is high, use that local help for things that have to be done in person that require a strong opinion that can’t be given remotely. Trust me, no one is going to complain if you send them cake tasting!!
3. Take Advantage of Pre-planned Trips Back/Holidays
This piggybacks right off of “Ask for Help”…if you have family in the area, you’re likely going to be going back once in your planning process just to visit them, celebrate a holiday, etc…use that trip to squeeze in a few wedding-related appointments. Book your hair trial, schedule a floral appointment…you catch my drift.
4. Choose a Venue That’s a One Stop Shop
This is a HUGE help. If your venue will provide everything on-site from flowers to food, you’re set. It makes everything a breeze because you don’t have a bunch of moving parts in the planning process. This also takes the pressure off of you and your family to set things up when you get to town. Trust me, if you’re planning a wedding long-distance, kiss the DIY stuff goodbye. It’s great in theory, but the cost difference of just having someone else do it for you is worth it when it comes to saving your sanity and actually just enjoying your big day (and the days leading up to it!)
5. Stay Organized
My biggest recommendation is to start a wedding binder or book where everything is located (contracts, notes from phone calls, vendor contact information, etc.) Then, when you sit down to create your wedding timeline with your planner (or on your own) everything is in one place just waiting to be organized into a beautiful little timeline you can hand out to the important people that need to know all the inner workings of the day. You don’t want to have to tell someone on the day of your wedding what time the flowers are supposed to arrive, those kinds of details can be on that timeline and someone else can make sure it happens (e.g., your wedding planner/day of coordinator, a close family member or friend). My other big take-home point here is: make sure ALL communication you have with vendors is documented in an e-mail or hard copy. Do not rely on phone calls because that is where miscommunications happen and error is likely to occur. If you confirm everything via e-mail after a phone call, you’ll save yourself from troubleshooting the day of. Side note: I ended up having to sue our venue after the wedding because they broke our contract and didn’t provide a service that was agreed upon, all of my written proof from e-mails is what won us the case…always protect yourself!!
Long-distance wedding planning sounds very intimidating, but with today’s technology and the frequency that couples are opting for this option…it is very doable! Don’t stress too much about the small stuff and remember, at the end of the day you’re celebrating the marriage, not just this one day that will come and go.
If you did the long-distance wedding thing, what are some tips you have to encourage those considering the same option?!
