Hi Friends!! I’m Nina and I have been a WAF for about 7 months now, and can I just say, WHOA. First off, I want to give everyone here big hugs and double high fives! It has been a wild journey but I wouldn’t change it for anything. I may not be a seasoned military spouse, but I want to come alongside you all and help you start off this new season of life since I am right there with you!
THE DECISION TO JOIN THE AIR FORCE
To keep a really long story short, over a period of 5 years, my husband has brought up his desires to join the AirForce 3 times. The first time I said no because we were 18, just graduated High School and I was scared. The second time, I had gotten my dream job a few states away and we dropped the idea again. After another move to another state to pursue a job in Law Enforcement for him, he quickly realized the military was still calling his name, and I just knew that this was his one desire so I said yes let’s do it.
TALKING TO THE RECRUITER
Once we decided we were going to do this for real this time, he didn’t waste any time meeting with a recruiter. Everything lined up great except for one thing, he was told he needed to lose 70 pounds. He called me on the phone and I could hear the sorrow in his voice while he told me this, so I replied “then let’s lose the 70 pounds.” That day was July 3rd, 2019, and we decided the strict diet and exercise starts July 5th. It is un-American to diet on the 4th of July and not indulge in all the hotdogs and sodas! After a vigorous diet and exercise regimen for 4 months, he lost all the weight and was off to MEPS.
PREPARING FOR BMT
When we started to tell friends and family of this decision, a few people told me to prepare to “hurry up and wait” and I didn’t really understand that. Well folks, my husband swore in and took the Enlisted Oath in December 2019, and didn’t leave for BMT until September 2020. Some leave sooner, some even later! We were out camping with friends in a no cell service area, and we decided to go into town to check out the local brewery and get some food. As soon as we got service, my husband had a missed call from his recruiter. Our hearts dropped to our stomach, we knew what the call was. He spoke with his recruiter and was assigned to the job of Fire Protection and was due to leave for BMT in 2 months. We both had so many emotions, but we were both shocked that this was really happening. I had already counted out the days till he had to leave.
He had weekly weigh-ins with his recruiter about a month before he was set to leave, and as each week passed, we knew our time together was getting shorter and shorter. We put together a folder filled with all the important documents he would need in BMT; a blank check for direct deposit, our certified marriage certificate, his original birth certificate and social security card, and copies of mine. I recommend making copies of your spouse’s original birth certificate and SSN to keep for yourself, you just might need them! We got his list of things to pack for BMT, and I helped him fold all his clothes and get together all his essentials (side note: Don’t overpack! Your spouse really only needs an extra pair of socks, a shirt and a toothbrush. And make sure you set up bills and get important passwords written down!). My stomach was in knots because it all started to feel very real. Next thing I know, I’m driving him to his hotel where he will be staying for the night before he flies to Lackland AFB for BMT the next day. We cried the whole drive together as we watched the clock countdown our last few hours together. As hard as it was, it was such a sweet time together. It truly solidified our marriage and our love for each other, in a way that never had been done before. Our last goodbye in the parking lot was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and he will tell you the same thing. We were both sobbing, snot nosed and all! Seeing him in the rearview mirror, with his big hydro flask rolling around in the passenger seat, made me cry even harder. So I tell you fellow baby WAF, cry it out. The next few days you will be a ball of emotions, let them happen. You will feel better, I promise.
WHERE TO START FIRST…
The first few days after I dropped my husband off, I cried very randomly throughout the day. Anything that reminded me of him made me emotional. His pile of dirty clothes that were NEXT to the hamper, not in, made me laugh till I cried. I didn’t move those clothes for a couple weeks. Something that made me so mad, was now my favorite thing to look at everyday. From the get go, you will feel like you need to be doing a million things at once, and sometimes you will feel as if you are already behind on getting everything done, like I did. From learning the language of the acronyms, to picking out Tricare plans, applying for your dependent ID, to researching your “dream sheet.” So take a big deep breath, and take it a day at a time.
Here are some quick tips to get you started with your first few important tasks to complete, in no particular order;
1.) Your spouse is going to mail you a packet of Tricare Plans explaining what the difference is between them; and if you’re like me, you just need the quick facts, not pages to thumb through. With Tricare Prime, you are assigned a PCM (Primary Care Manager) and require referrals to specialists to get the visit covered. With Tricare Select, you do not need a referral to see specialists you’d like to see. Each plan has their pros and cons, but that is the jist of it that I have found. Once you have picked out a plan, download the Humana Military App, this will have your coverage listed and phone numbers you will need.
2.) Along with that packet, you will be mailed DD Form 1172. This is the form that needs to be completed to get your Dependent ID. Your spouse, like mine hopefully, will have already filled this out, and all you need to do is sign it and hold on to it. Find a Military Dependant ID office near you, and call to find out if you need an appointment or not. You will need to bring with you that form, your marriage certificate, drivers license, and social security card. This card becomes your golden ticket! It duals as your insurance card and access onto the bases, and much more I’m sure!
FOCUS ON YOU
When there are so many questions and unknowns, here are some things that help tremendously!
1.) Write your heart out! Write down every little detail of your day, your highs and lows, and the color you painted your toes. It is so healing mentally and emotionally and will give you a better outlook on this new lifestyle you’re about to endure. Your letters are sure to light up a smile on your spouses face when their name is called during mail time and it will give them an escape, even if it’s for a few moments. Just know that your spouse likely won’t be able to write you back as often, but your letters mean the world to them.
2.) Keep yourself busy and focus on you! Allow yourself some time to be emotional and miss your spouse. But remember, you will see them again hopefully soon and it will be the sweetest reunion. Find something new to dive into, or pick up an old hobby you haven’t been able to do in a while. For myself, I decided to focus on my nutrition and exercise, and that really helped. I can’t have an Air Force Fire Fighter as a husband and not be spicy myself, am I right?!
3.) Be supportive and proud of your spouse! Their worlds are being rocked at BMT, and the only words that will be comforting to them are yours. There will be frustrations along the way, and it will do nobody any good to be frustrated at each other. Take it as it is, day by day, you will both figure out this new life together. You will learn early on that nothing ever goes smoothly!
Another tip; make sure to keep your phone on you in case you get random phone calls from your spouse. They can come at any time and any day, and they are the sweetest 15 minutes of your life. Those phone calls made were the highlight of my week and kept me going!
TECH SCHOOL
Due to the pandemic, I was not able to see my husband’s BMT graduation in person. I watched it live and it was still so sweet and moving to see him graduate. The first step in this new life had now been accomplished! On to the next one, Tech School! He was flown to his Tech School the very next morning and was now allowed to keep his phone on him which was very exciting. We both assumed that once he arrived, he would hit the ground running and start the academy the following Monday. Wrong-o. It took about a month for him to start classes. During this time, we learned that while at Tech School, the Airmen have what’s called “Phases” and there are 3 of them. In short summary, Phase 1 means they are not allowed off base. Phase 2 they have some freedom to go off base while still having curfews on the weekend. Phase 3 is when they graduate their tech school entirely, don’t have curfew on the weekends, and are waiting to go to their first duty station. Once my husband entered Phase 2, I was lucky enough to live close enough to base so I could see him on the weekends. We make the best of our time together and work with the rules and curfews. We’re in the home stretch now!
While your spouse is in Tech School, they will be getting a lot more information in regards to where they will be stationed at once they complete their school. It will be overwhelming at times with lots of unknowns, and tons of paperwork. Just roll with the punches and take care of one thing at a time. You will soon be getting ready to PCS to your first duty station together and living this military lifestyle to the fullest, which is where I am at now.
MY ADVICE
As hard as BMT is for both you and your spouse, you will find a strength you didn’t know you had. This lifestyle was a culture shock for me, and it might be for you too. I know there are still hard days ahead with deployments and such, and I still have a lot to learn, but I now feel a bit more prepared. Just know that our spouses are our Great Nation’s heroes, and we are the ones that get to hold their hands and support them through it all, and that is the greatest privilege. From one new WAF to another, you can do this!
MEET NINA
