I’ll never forget sitting in a booth at the Chick-fil-A in Enid, OK discussing with my boyfriend (now husband) which plane/what locations we wanted to select at the end of pilot training. He had just gone through a week of briefings from some of the “old guys” who did their best to paint a picture of what life would look like as a pilot in each of their respective air frames.
Now let me just preface and say something that you will hear over and over again, the flying tempo in the C-17 is always changing. It is different now from what it was when we first got started. It was different last month than this month!! I can promise you, with 100% confidence, that each C-17 WAF you talk to about what the tempo was like for their spouse would each tell you a different story. That being said, I hope I can cover it from a pretty unbiased perspective as a first assignment pilot WAF!
Back to the story, the version that we heard about life in the C-17 did NOT sound fun. So not-fun, in fact, that I did not think I could do it. They said that the pilots live out of a suitcase, and while they only have 3 month deployments, they are gone for 270 days out the year when they are not deployed. So as someone who was especially social and dependent during college and had really never lived more than 30 minutes away from her family, I was nervous to say the least when we chose C-17s…
The first year that we were out here was truly wild. I was not working which put a good deal of stress on our situation for sure! But to sum up the first year, I would say that my husband was home 5 days a month, 2 days for post mission and 3 days for pre mission before he was off on the road again. Oh and he deployed for 3 months. Our base had just moved away from squadron deployments when we arrived at McChord which meant that my husband was gone while all of my friends husbands were home (there are pros and cons to each!). He saw the world. Hit almost every continent. Had a blast. So I was angry. SIKE. Y’all, I grew up so much in that first year! I went to spouse events, I met other ladies with very different backgrounds from me, I traveled all around this new state and made so many of my own memories! I had some evil laugh moments when he would come back and people would ask if we had been here or seen that in Washington State, and I could say that I had while my husband had no clue! For the first few months, I thought that I needed to wait for him to explore the area, ut at some point with their crazy schedules, you just decide that you either have to do it on your own or sit around waiting forever! This first year is kind of a grind, they have to study a lot and fly a lot to get as much experience under their belt as possible! Figuring out a way to find yourself in that year is crucial, so that you can be strong on your own and able to support them and their super chaotic lives!
Moving into our second year, the pilots complete a training (in Altus) to become an Aircraft Commander, and so much changes. My husband went through this transition during a time when the flying tempo essentially plummeted for us so it was like a complete 180 for our lifestyle! My husband was home allll the time! It was great, and almost had us feeling like we were actually a normal couple! Somehow during this year, and every one that has followed, the missions he leaves for have gotten harder for me to handle. It’s as if I was able to become so accustomed to him leaving during that first year that it was my new normal! Now, it’s like a huge shock to my system and can be tough at times. That being said, now that we are plugged in with a community, and I am so comfortable with our area, missions can fly by a lot faster than before!
The C-17 world is a very social community, your spouses coworkers will become family. Go to spouse events! Yes, it’s a foreign concept and you might not necessarily find your “person” but at the same time, you might! And worst case scenario, you know people locally that can help you if you ever are in need. When I became besties with other WAFs, we literally do it all together because I can count on them no matter what! The toughest part of this lifestyle is that there isn’t much of a routine ever, you literally have to take it like a week at a time, but having a schedule with your girls can be so fulfilling! When my husband mission “slips” (is delayed due to weather or jet problems or anything else) causing me to miss a highly anticipated date night, I’ve got my people that are there to weave me into their schedule seamlessly! Third-wheeling is life because its better to be with friends than alone and it has led to some of the best memories! My advise for anyone would be to be so opened-minded about trying new things and embrace the challenging times because they will grow you so much!!
