So, my husband operates heavy machinery for the government. At least that’s one version of how he describes his job on occasion when asked. To put it more clearly he flies F-16s and, IMHO, is a damn good pilot. During the beginning of our relationship when C mentioned he would be graduating the Air Force Academy that May and aspired to fly “anything with an F” I had no idea what that truly meant except that the theme song of Top Gun was stuck in my head for a day after. Fast forward to 5 years later and thoroughly understanding Top Gun is NOT about the Air Force and we’re both on this crazy adventure that is the fighter pilot life.
Fighters are one of many airframes, tracks and lifestyles available to those employed by our Air Force and their families. So, I hope that the information below is helpful, relatable or at least interesting if you’re curious to learn what at least one WAF’s experience has been like in this area. Here’s what I’ve learned:
LEARN YOUR ACRONYMS
This goes for anyone in the Air Force really, but it seems to especially apply to pilots and how they prefer to communicate. If you want a semblance of understanding what’s being said in a conversation when in a room with a group of pilots, I highly recommend taking a note in your phone of the acronym you heard and asking your hubs what it means later. I got really sick of asking C multiple times what LPA stood for so I finally just created a notes doc to refer to :).
PILOTS DO NOT WORK A 9-5
Depending on your pilot’s role in the squadron, he or she will most likely spend 8-12 hours in the squadron each day. Their hours can be long and relentless. Most of the time, my husband is out the door by 7 or 8 and back in the house by 6-7…depending if a workout happens or not. Occasionally there will be a night or surge week. Night weeks typically mean the base will have takeoffs starting in the afternoon through the evening with some debriefs getting them out of the squadron around midnight or later. Surge weeks are also intense with an increase in flights scheduled each day and your pilot flying multiple times a week, sometimes more than once a day. Also, the guys tend to leave for off-site training activities called, Green, Red or Checker flags a few times a year, spanning 4-6 weeks. Most of the time these fun TDY’s take place in good ‘ol Vegas. They gamble, you make sure you plan a spouse get away weekend as soon as they return so the guys keep the kids and you have yourself a time with the gals. Their schedule is grueling at times for sure and it can be hard on family life, but seeing how much he loves what he does, the mission they’re committed to training on and the satisfaction when it’s applied during a deployment makes the sacrifice worth it.
DEPLOYMENTS SUCK, BUT YOU’RE STRONGER FOR IT
I experienced our first deployment in the fall of 2017. We had been married for 3 months and I had no idea what to expect. Thankfully, we found that talking about how we wanted to approach deployment, the expectations for communication, and what to expect from their mission helped us both prepare ourselves mentally for what was to come. Leaning on the spouse group throughout the deployment was so unbelievably helpful. We all became sister wives and truly banded together to try and make the most out of having each other for support. Check out my previous post on “Sparkle Flag” and you’ll see an example of some of the fun things you and the other spouses can do to try and make the time fly. A lot of us tried to find ways to keep ourselves busy, whether that was start a new workout, take a class, make plans to take a trip or just have a goal for those 6 months to work towards. Inevitably, something comes up where you really just need a dude. That’s the awesome part about the LPA or Lieutenant Pilot Association. Typically there’s a group of guys who many not have deployed with the others and the LPA is there to help! Need your lawn mowed, your screen fixed or a really big bug killed? Call the LPA! :). Sometimes the guys’ wifi went out over there and you just had to understand you might not talk to them one day or for a couple days in a row. The important part was not to try and worry too much or psych yourself out. What happens over there is out of your control and that’s why you have this group of amazing women, your friends and family to lean on. Deployment is not fun and sometimes the days were longer than others, but our relationship was stronger for it and I learned a lot about myself too throughout that time.
HURREVACS ALSO SUCK, BUT WINE HELPS
I won’t dwell too much on this one but if you live in a hurricane state where the jets are vulnerable to damage, say goodbye to your husband and either get out of dodge with your kids or hunker down with the wives who stay behind. Hurrevacs are one of the more interesting policies I’ve learned about. Essentially, when severe weather strikes, the guys take the jets and jet off to a safer state. That leaves you behind to figure out what to do. In most cases you can prepare your plan ahead of time with your pilot and talk with the wives about what they plan to do. If you leave, book a hotel as far in advance since other evacuees will sell out hotel rooms quickly and fill up your car with gas early too. If you stay, prep your house, fill your bathtub, buy as much bottled water, non-perishable food/snacks and wine and have yourself a hurricane staycation until the weather has passed and the jets return. Just try not to be too salty while they’re gone and you know they’re hanging out together out of harm’s way and having a great time while you’re literally weathering the storm.
Sometimes…the base locations aren’t great.
There’s always a feeling of anticipation and excitement when it comes to assignment announcements. Whether you’re getting your first assignment out of B-course or you’re on your 5th, the pre-assignment jitters are always there. Word of advice: never get your hopes on a particular assignment. You never know how things will shake out until they’re announced. Once you put your dream sheet in you just have to go with the flow and let the powers that be decide your fate. F-16 bases tend to be located in areas that are a good 1-2 hours from the nearest city and aren’t always the most convenient for your amenity, shopping, or travel needs. However, there are some pretty cool overseas bases like Aviano in Italy, Misawa in Japan or Spangdahlem in Germany. Also some of the guard bases, like Davis-Monthan, are really neat too. Don’t let this deter you. We are currently at Shaw AFB in Sumter, SC. Some families choose to live in the neighboring city, Columbia, which offers more schools, jobs access and entertainment but it is farther away from base. While there are certainly drawbacks to living in a smaller town like Shaw there are always positives too. We’ve managed to find the charm in these areas and you learn to appreciate the little things like a bangin’ TJ Maxx, a cute local juice shop, or locally owned retail store. Then there’s the spouse community. And that brings me to my next point.
THE SPOUSE COMMUNITY IS A HUGE ASSET
I had no idea what to expect when it came to being involved in a spouse community at a base. Some bases have more involvement than others. Kunsan and Osan Korea, for example, have extremely active spouse communities. Those stationed there tend to all live on or near base so that environment apparently breeds this amazing comradery. Every squadron is different and has its own vibe but ours at Shaw was very positive. There are roles that can be filled by spouses to help try and spur involvement through the group. We like to have monthly “coffees” which has a really cool history. Basically, the idea started back in WWII when the women married to airmen would meet for coffee to chat, catch up, vent or lean on each other for support. Since then, the spouse community has carried on that tradition as a way to foster community between the spouses. Each coffee affords a spouse (or girlfriend or fiance) to host the group at their house, a local restaurant or other location of their choice. We all go to catch up, hear about any updates in the squadron and it’s always an excuse to eat :). Most recently, we did a candle making class in September and a pumpkin carving activity for October. Another role that’s important is the social chair. Our squadron is called the Gamblers so the social chair is called the Lady Dealer. This was a role that I was fortunate to try out. I had seen our previous Lady Dealer do such a great job and really inspire people to stay in touch and get together. Being new and curious to learn more about the lifestyle I volunteered to take on that role once her time was up. It was a great way to force me out of my shell, organize some fun events and learn more about how great this community is. If you have the opportunity to take something like this on, I highly recommend it. C and I have since moved onto our next assignment and I can honestly say that looking back, I have made some forever friends. This pilot community is small and shrinking even further. The cool thing is that even though goodbyes are hard, there’s a really good chance you’ll bump into someone you know at another assignment. If not, you have friends for life that will follow you through the Air Force and beyond that will understand you more than anyone else outside this life could.
I hope this insight was helpful and I know everyone’s experience is different. The only piece of advice that I’ll leave with is to be open. Be open to the new experiences that will inevitably come your way throughout this journey, be open to each assignment, be open to the new men and women that cross your paths as you integrate into each community and be open with your spouse as you grow together throughout your time in the Air Force.
MEET KATHERINE
