WELCOME TO BRUNCH BABBLE
This new series is all about questions that friends + family ask us as WAFs, because let’s be honest, this lifestyle is unique + we ALL have a million questions about it. Hopefully this will be a great way to connect to our larger support network, so they can support us in the best ways possible + find answers to questions they might not be ready to directly ask just yet!
“So, when your boyfriend got back from his deployment, someone else had to take you on base to pick him up?”
If you’ve been following our stories from the beginning, you know that I moved across the country to be with my boyfriend (now husband) when he got his first assignment post-training. If you’re new, don’t sweat it, you can read more on my story
That move was hard, I was going to be living somewhere other than the State of Iowa for the first time ever, I would be a casual 31 hour drive from most of my family + friends, I would be living with my significant other for the first time, I had to start a brand new job in a foreign area…you get the idea. What I didn’t expect was how hard being a Girlfriend of the Air Force (GAF as we like to say) was going to be.
The first big reality check of being a GAF is that you don’t get the automatic plug from the squadron support network connecting you to a Key Spouse (a spouse designated on each base to take in the new spouses + connect them to the area/other spouses). As you can imagine, this made meeting friends HARD. I delved into Bumble BFF + met some great women there, but it wasn’t quite the same as the friendships I had developed growing up or in college/grad school. Eventually, my SO saw me struggling + stepped in to save the day. He asked a friend in the squadron (a friend he knew from their time at the AF Academy) if he + his wife would like to go to a baseball game with us.
That wife was Jen 🙂 If you’re interested in that “How We Met” story, check it out
!
The second big thing was that all of the on base resources were a no go for me unless I had an escort on base, which 99.9% of the time was a HUGE pain. You’re probably thinking, “OK, girl, little hiccups but come on, was it really
that
bad?” Yes, for me it was. I was dealing with so many things at once it was overwhelming, but the biggest blow came when we found out my SO would be deploying + I knew that when the time came to pick him up on his return I NEEDED AN ESCORT because we weren’t married + I didn’t have military ID.
It seems like such a silly thing now, but I remember that realization wrecking my world. When it came time for that special moment of the guy I loved + adored coming home after being apart for close to 4 months, I would need a stinkin’ escort, like I was a petulant child. It’s little hiccups like these that make this lifestyle unique, can you imagine your spouse coming back from a 12 week business trip + having someone tell you that you’d have to be escorted through the airport to see him?! It’s truly unlike any other experience + such a tough thing to explain to people who haven’t lived it.
Thankfully, my escort wasn’t stinky at all, it was the person I had grown closest to over the months my SO was away (Jen) + now I couldn’t imagine that moment without her + her husband’s support. They captured pictures I will cherish forever + curbed any anxieties I had about the picking up process.
If you’re the friend or family member of one of our GAF sisters, I want you to walk away from this post with two pieces of advice: 1) be understanding, being a GAF in this military world can feel very isolating + as a result cause a lot of insecurities that seem ridiculous 2) your support matters, as much as we lean on this network of GAFs, FAFs + WAFs, a lot of our strength comes from you, so don’t hesitate to reach out, ask questions + be involved, it’s not intrusive…it simply reminds us how much you care.
Xo, Kirst
