How I Navigated Infertility + Military Benefits: Jessi’s Story

THERE ARE SO MANY WOMEN WHO FACE LOSS DURING THEIR STRUGGLES WITH INFERTILITY AND WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE SEEN, THAT YOUR EXPERIENCE MATTERS. WHETHER YOU LOST THAT PRECIOUS LITTLE ONE AT TWO WEEKS OR TWENTY WEEKS, THEY WERE YOURS AND YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID. ONE OF THE MANY WAYS PEOPLE WORK THROUGH THE HEALING PROCESS IS THROUGH FINDING SOME WAY TO HONOR THEIR LOSS. THIS IS WHAT BROUGHT THREE WOMEN TOGETHER TO CREATE A NECKLACE FOR MOTHER’S WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED A MISCARRIAGE. YOU CAN CHECK OUT THEIR STORY AND MISSION HERE!

JESSI’S STORY

Let me start with a quick rundown of our infertility journey. We started trying to get pregnant in February 2017; I already knew it was probably going to take a few tries to get pregnant because I had very inconsistent cycles, but as we neared the end of the year and nothing was happening I started to get more concerned. I met with my PCM (which is where you will need to start as well) and he said that since we hadn’t been trying for a full year, there wasn’t much that could be done but that he would give me a referral for an OB/GYN. We were stationed at Laughlin AFB at this time which is located in a very small town in Texas with pretty much only one OB/GYN. I went to my appointment with him and it was a horrible experience. I knew I wouldn’t be going back. I went back to my PCM and told him I would be willing to make the 2.5 hour drive to San Antonio if it meant a different OB/GYN. My PCM was understanding and referred me to SAMMC (San Antonio Military Medical Center).

I had my initial appointment with the fertility doctor there and it was determined that I most likely had PCOS. They wanted to run some more tests just to make sure and they wanted to do some tests on my husband as well. As anyone whose spouse has been through pilot training knows, it is very hard for them to take time off and it’s even more difficult for them to take time off in the middle of the week (which is what he had to to make our appointments). We got lots of blood work done (like 25 tubes for me and 5 for him), two semen analysis’ (which had to be six weeks apart, another scheduling struggle), and a HSG test (which is one of the most uncomfortable procedures I’ve ever had to go through and when the doctor tells you that you might feel “slight Pressure” know that that is a lie and you will feel A LOT of pressure) before our official diagnoses: PCOS for me, low sperm count for my husband. The process of getting to the diagnoses took us through August of 2018 (prepare for everything to take a while; we all know the military is a slow moving machine). It was then determined that our best course of action would be to jump straight to IVF. Depending on the cause of your infertility they may start you with medications like clomid or femara (the least invasive) or do an IUI (intrauterine insemination) before moving to IVF (the most invasive).

WHAT HOSPITALS DO IUIS AND IVF?

Fort Sam Brooke Army Medical Center, San Antonio, TX (SAMMC)
Tripler Army Medical Center, Honolulu, HI
Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, Bethesda, MD
Naval Medical Center, San Diego, CA
Madigan Army Medical Center, Tacoma, WA

We were lucky enough to live close enough to San Antonio to be able to do our IVF cycle there. They do IVF cycles every few months (January, April, June, and October) and we were initially put on the list for April. In November 2018 we got a phone call that there was an opening in their January cycle if we wanted to take it. Of course we said yes. At this point my husband had finished Pilot Training and we were about to head to Altus, OK for him to complete his training. Even though the drive from Altus would be roughly 6 hours and I would have to stay in San Antonio for 3-4 weeks, it was still our best option. So, on a snowy day in January 2019, I drove the 6 hours to start this next stage of our infertility journey. Travel expenses are not reimbursed for fertility treatments so I reached out to a fellow WAF who was stationed at Randolph AFB and asked if she wouldn’t mind a guest for a month. She was incredibly gracious to open her home to me and staying with her was such an incredible blessing. January was a crazy month; almost daily blood draws, multiple daily shots, lots of Facetime calls to my husband who could only be with me for two days of the whole process, it was a lot. On egg retrieval day I had to be put under general anesthesia and they were able to retrieve 20 eggs. A week later was embryo transfer day and we had 5 viable embryos; one that they were going to transfer and four that are currently frozen in San Antonio. Progesterone shots started (so painful, if you ever have to go through this process I would highly suggest you do the suppositories instead) and we waited another week before we could take a pregnancy test. Unfortunately, our embryo didn’t stick and we did not get pregnant. We have since moved to England and are scheduled to do a frozen embryo transfer in October. I will be flying back to San Antonio to do this procedure. You can read more in depth about our infertility journal over on my blog: https://messibits.wixsite.com/mysite or my instagram: @jessica.winegardner.

WHAT’S THE COST?

We paid $7,100 (not including any food or travel expenses).

For us, all diagnostic testing, medications, labs, ultrasounds, appointments, etc. were completely covered (we have Tricare Prime). The only thing we had to pay for was the embryologist. Apparently there is a rule that government employees are not allowed to handle human embryos, so the SAMMC fertility clinic hires a local embryologist to handle the egg fertilization and embryo transfer. From my research, if you use a military hospital to do IVF you will pay about half of what the average cost of IVF is for that area. So if you did your IVF at Walter-Reed it would be a little more expensive because the average cost for IVF in that area costs more, so the embryologist costs more (if that makes sense).

If you are unable to get your fertility treatments done at a military hospital, then unfortunately you will have to pay for the process out of pocket. Tricare should still cover any diagnostic testing, but once you are doing a round of IUI or IVF you will no longer be covered. If you are starting with medication only (like clomid), then that should be covered as well. The cost of out of pocket IVF ranges anywhere from $15,000 to $30,000 depending on where you live and what your treatment plan is; however, there are grants/scholarships you can apply for to help offset the cost.

My experience with the fertility clinic at SAMMC was amazing! My treatment team was very attentive to my needs and very understanding of my feelings during a very vulnerable time. If you are near the San Antonio area, I would definitely recommend them. If you suspect you might struggle with infertility, get the process started as soon as possible. Once that year mark is up, meet with your PCM to start getting labs and referrals. The process is long and draining, but there is always hope at the end of a sometimes seemingly unending tunnel. Experiencing infertility has tested my faith and my very being, but it has also made me stronger, taught me to lean on my husband for strength, and has led me to so many amazing people who have also walked this path.

If you get nothing else from this post, know this: you are not alone, there is help, you are not broken, and there is no wrong way to grow your family.