“Let God use your home, apartment, dorm room, front yard, community gymnasium, or garden for the purpose of making strangers into neighbors and neighbors into family.”
Rosaria Butterfield
Is hospitality a gift? Six years ago I was certain it was and that it was one I did NOT have. I was embarrassed that I didn’t have cute home decor or matching table settings, that I couldn’t bake / decorate a cake or know how to make a bouquet. I loved the way some homes made you feel when you walked into them but I wasn’t sure mine would ever be that way.
But do you want to know something really beautiful? We can GROW in any gift or skill. Maybe it doesn’t come naturally for us but practice makes it better. What’s more is that hospitality doesn’t have to be extravagant hosting. It isn’t about making yourself look good with beautiful decor – that’s entertaining. Hosting is about how the other person feels when they enter a space.
As I sought to get better at hosting, I looked closer at what made people feel welcome and it was never exclusively the decor or the dessert arrangement… it was a feeling of inclusion… the “you are welcome here, just the way you are.” And THAT attitude or heart posture costs us nothing to give.
Physically there are certainly things that help and I set out to learn a few “go-to” recipes and bought a drink dispenser for fruit-infused H2O. But mostly I tried to worry less about all those things and more about if the people coming into my home knew that they meant more to me than any item in it!
Maybe you won’t ever throw a huge Friendsgiving with matching table settings and that’s OKAY! The girl that does might just be growing in another gift and I’m as free to enjoy her gift without comparison as she is to walk fully in it!
Maybe you’re a little shy of hosting like me, but I want to practice more. In this military world where we are all transient how nice it is when someone helps you feel more “at home”. Another important thing to remember is that hospitality doesn’t have to look like inviting people into your home…it definitely can but it doesn’t HAVE to.
Here’s 10 examples of ways I have been shown hospitality from others that we can all be encouraged by!
- Had a meal the week of a PCS (before the move or after a neighbor moves in).
- Been invited from the park to a Bible study or small group.
- Had a friend send specific times and dates she was available to watch kids during my spouse’s deployment.
- Been invited to extended family dinners that weren’t my own.
- Spent Thanksgiving with my church family during deployment.
- Had a baby shower thrown for me after only 3 months of being somewhere.
- Been picked up by a small group member with car seats after getting in a car accident.
- Weekly coffee / park play date invites.
- Had a friend drive an hour to be with me at a children’s doctor’s appointment.
- Been added to a group text thread upon arrival!
Maybe some of these are obvious to you. Maybe some of them seem like a stretch. That’s okay. Wherever we are at… we can grow. And that growth might mean the difference between dreading military life to feeling welcomed to it for another military spouse.
So let’s remember:
1. Showing hospitality is not the same as entertaining.
2. The attitude of inclusion is free to give.
3. Growth comes from practice.
You don’t have to have fancy placemats and expensive servingware to say,
“I know you are new, but you are welcome here!”
Meet Corrie
Corrie and her husband transitioned from full-time ministry to military life in 2017 and have lived in Missouri, Texas, Virginia, and Colorado! They have been married for 8 years and have two little boys whom they love to adventure with through hiking and being outdoors! She loves woodfired pizza, coffee, hiking, getting the most out of the free military gyms, and building community! You can find more military encouragement, resources, and duty station bucket lists on her Instagram @ajoyfulmilspouse.
