This will be my 4th PCS with the Coast Guard, but my first with a toddler, and our first full military DITY! Let me tell you it is a whole new ballgame! I hope to give you some tips and tricks on how to navigate this season. I’ll share what worked for us and what didn’t work.
Mindset
First off, it’s so important to realize that toddlers have so many emotions that they don’t know how to express or explain. My husband and I sat down and really had to discuss this. We tried to put ourselves in his shoes. Imagine you are told that you are moving. You wake up and all of your toys and comforts are packed up. You are loaded into your car seat and are in the car for hours. Then you get to a house that you are told is your new house and it looks nothing like your old home, plus everything is in boxes. It is overwhelming with many big emotions.
Before the Move
I started by following @MamasontheMove on Instagram, I printed all her resources, and put them into a binder. I ordered @TeamBoxOps and was not disappointed. You can check them out HERE. WAFs has a discount code: WAF15 for 15% off orders over $20! The quality of the product is amazing and it was so helpful during packing and our move. I also reserved our UPack Truck and they were amazing! I changed the drop off date multiple times and they were so helpful and kind.
We knew that we would be PCSing sometime during June of 2023. To help prepare for that, in December of 2022 I started gathering books that talk about moving and military moving. Our favorites have been We’re Moving House, The ABCs of PCS, Mission: My First PCS: The Military Child Chronicles, and Moving to a New Military Base. I started putting out these books and just let my son explore them. Sometimes we would read and if we did, I explained to him that we would be moving and getting a new house. This became part of our conversation. Sometimes he would bring it up and sometimes my husband and I would. I just wanted to give him enough time to get the idea in his mind. We brought him with us to stores to get moving supplies and explained everything. Most I know is right over his head, but I think it was important that we explained the process and what was happening. He would sometimes take all of his toys and put them in a pile and told me he was “packing.” He would also ask to go to the new house, which we didn’t even have yet or know where it would be.
During the Packing
When we started packing, I noticed an uptick in behaviors. Now it could have been that he is just a strong independent almost 3-year-old, but I also think it had a lot to do with what was going on in his world. We tried to keep his routines the same during this process. We would go to the library, the park, and have playdates with friends, etc. We did not touch his room until the day the moving truck arrived, so it was still a safe place for him. We gave him a lot of extra grace and talked about big feelings.
I also included him in the packing process. We packed up his toys that would be coming with us. His absolute favorite toys and a few books stayed out. We also kept out toys that were not coming with us. So moving day, we could toss the ones that had missing parts, or we could donate them. This had somewhat worked, but a tip. Pack up and box up the other toys that are going to the new house. Don’t leave them out, because then they all get mixed up! My other big plan was to pack up all of his books and just take out library books. It was a great idea in theory, but I didn’t follow through as early as I would have liked. When we left, we said goodbye to our old house and talked a lot about our new house. We talked about the new and exciting adventures we would have together.
After the Move
We decided to see some friends and family on the way to our new house. We had been practicing the state name that we were moving to and talked a lot about the new state. I will also say we used zero technology to keep our toddler entertained during the trip. No judgment here, whatever works for you. You do you! It was something that we wanted to try and see how he did. He talked A LOT and asked 10000000 questions, but he also looked at books and snuggled with his blanket. He played with the Melissa and Doug stickers that are like colorforms and took naps. When we got to our new house, we let him explore. We looked at all the bedrooms and he was able to choose his bedroom. We had some home comforts for him and new exciting toys.
I had an appointment to set up our internet the day we got there. We hired unpackers as well. Our previous home was a ranch, all one level. Our new home was a townhouse with 3 floors. We both decided that we did not want to unload the truck, and happily paid a company to do so. UPack dropped off our moving truck in the morning, and the movers were there that afternoon. It was very helpful to not have to worry about unloading the truck ourselves. I explained the BoxOps system with the door hangers to the movers, and hung the map when you walked in. They loved it! Sometimes they double checked where the box was going, but most of the time they checked the sticker and matched it to the door hanger.
I think the most important part of this whole process was we gave our toddler and each other lots of grace, lots of snuggles, and lots of love. I hope this helps you when you are moving with a toddler!
Meet Danica
Hi! I’m Danica and I have been a USCG WAF for 9 years! My husband is in the US Coast Guard. We just PCSed to DC and we are living in Northern VA. We are so happy to be near friends and family. We love exploring the area and trying new restaurants! We lived in the NOVA area almost 10 years ago!!
I was an elementary school teacher for 10 years, where I taught in 5 different states. I am now staying at home with my son who is 3 and will be a big brother soon! We have twins on the way, due in January.
I love to be creative and craft when I have time. I am an avid reader and love historical fiction and Harry Potter! I enjoy working out, and I use the SWEAT app. I have learned about incorporating healthy habits into my life and I love to share that with others!
