Call me crazy but I always dreamed of this beautifully simple life where I grew up with a solid group of friends, got married alongside all my friends and family happily celebrating with us, accept a solid job in my hometown where I was passionate about my coworkers, and spent weeknights and weekends balancing BBQs with my life long besties and pool days with my family. Oh and a sprinkle of elaborate vacations because my cost of living would be low AF. MAN, even typing that out still makes my heart tender! Well, not to be blunt, but that just isn’t my reality and it isn’t most of ours as WAFs! I wanted to share some reminders that I still have to remind myself of constantly in this WAF life!
1. CUT THE “NO NEW FRIENDS” MENTALITY
I’ll be completely opened and honest with my current reality. I have been at my current assignment for going on 4 years. I’ve made my “new friends”, I’ve been there, I’m SEASONED. But the crazy thing is, we are all on our own paths and all my friends are slowly but surely PCSing. I will always hold onto those friendships but there are times where I don’t want to let anyone else in because how could they ever replace the ones that came before them?! THATS NOT THE POINT. The Air Force, through all its flaws, does one thing remarkably. It enables us to grow in so many more ways than many of us thought possible. We are stronger, more independent, and more capable of balancing strong friendships all over the world without missing a beat. This is your, and my personal, loving reminder to open ourselves up to letting new friends in even though we may not want to right now.
2. IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU
Did I really say that?? Yes! But truly, remember dating 101? You learn selflessness and, if you had a mother like mine, you are taught that people may just be put in your life for a “season”. Now I stand by what I said earlier in that WAFs take such pride in the long standing friendships we form no matter the distance but, you never know what someone else is going through right now. They may not even be the “type” of friend that you are used to or the kind that you usually seek out, but you could be the missing piece to get them through whatever they are going through!
3. MAKING NEW FRIENDS IS LIKE DATING
“I’m so happy I am not single anymore and don’t have to go on another first date”. Has anyone else thought or felt this way? While dating can be fun and exciting, I also remember complaining about dating my husband to my mom and saying “I just can’t wait until we know each other so well that I can just relax and just BE with him”. It is so ironic how similar that sentiment is with making new friends! When someone new invites you out to do something when all you want to do is go over to your BFFs house in your sweats and slippers and eat take out on their couch while watching trash tv, it’s uncomfortable and nerve-racking to try something new with someone new. But I just have to remind myself that all of my favorite relationships started out this way and, ya know, you gotta put yourself out there!
4. BE THE “YES” GIRL
I have said this before in other posts, but I believe that when you have moved to a new base or are just in need of new/more friends, you have to be willing to say “yes” and try almost anything. We are so lucky to be able to meet new people from all over the country/world, but friendships with people from different backgrounds may not always involve activities that you are used to. Whether your not into it or what, be it from shopping to hiking, the key is spending quality time with others to build relationships. Be down for whatever comes your way! And that being said, you can totally be honest in your interests while still exploring new hobbies. I will go hiking with you, but I will (kindly) let you know during our time together, “Wow, this is such a great hike! And I’m really not that outdoorsy!”. My personal life goal is to always be willing to grow and adapt and this is my way of putting that into practice!
Here’s to the excitement of making new friends and the memories that will be made along the way!
