My Military Move Has Been Postponed, Now What?

If you just got news your military move has been postponed, I’ve been there, and I know how overwhelming it can be. Here is a big virtual hug, the story & silver linings of our own delayed move, as well as some encouragement, practical advice and guidance as you navigate the weeks ahead.

We were slated to move in May of 2020. In March, we were under contract to sell our home in Colorado and under contract to buy a new home in Texas. We had a daycare picked out near our new duty station and had been on the waitlist for almost a year, knowing that it typically took around 18 months for a spot to open up. Then the world came to a halt as the global pandemic upended everything and just weeks before we were supposed to PCS, things began to fall apart.

Our move was postponed with no clear timeline, the buyers of our Colorado home backed out of their contract, we had to cancel our contract on the Texas home which cost us several hundred dollars in earnest money and inspections, and we lost childcare for our 18-month-old in Colorado since we didn’t expect to be living there after the summer, and had to give up our childcare spot in Texas because we weren’t yet living there when it became available in August. It was an incredibly stressful season of our military lives, truthfully one of the hardest. But – I believe there are silver linings to every story, and I know that we military families are incredibly strong, resilient, and can weather more than most – even when it isn’t fair that we have to.

Those silver linings I mentioned: the home we eventually bought in Texas ended up being even better than the one we were initially under contract for. It was more “move-in ready” and fit our style and family better than the previous one, was newer with fewer issues to fix, had a playground and pool within walking distance, better local restaurants and amenities down the road, and it became the place that felt most like “home” to us out of any place we’d lived before. When our Colorado buyers backed out of their contract, it actually ended up being a huge blessing in disguise (even though it was incredibly stressful!) – because it meant that we could live in the home until we knew we were *actually* moving. If they hadn’t backed out, we would have ended up homeless and scrambling to find housing until our move was re-scheduled – which turned out to be around five months later than it was initially planned. The childcare situation, was truthfully the most painful part for us as both my husband and I worked full-time and were drowning as we attempted to care for our active toddler on weekdays when we were also still beholden to our jobs. But in the end, I’m still grateful for every extra minute I got to spend with my son at that age.

The thing about silver linings is that you can often only see them in hindsight. You have to be patient and trust that what’s coming might just turn out better than you planned in the first place. And right now, I know that isn’t necessarily the most helpful thing when your head might be spinning with all the logistics you need to rearrange and the stress that might be sitting on your chest. But I hope it’s encouraging, and that you find your silver linings soon.

So in the meantime, here are some quick, practical pieces of advice that might help you start navigating this last-minute pivot with your military move.

First and Foremost

Wait for confirmation: When news of large-scale moving delays breaks, it can be hard not to jump to conclusions if you know your moving timeline might coincide with the delays. While many might actually be impacted, some might not – so as many military spouses do: plan for the worst and hope for the best. It’s okay to start contingency planning, but try to keep the stress at bay and don’t rush into any hard decisions until you know for sure you need to make them. If you do find yourself among those whose move has been delayed, take a deep breath and remember: you are incredibly strong, resilient, and you can do this!
Make space for the feelings: It’s normal to feel disappointed and frustrated when plans change unexpectedly. You, your spouse, or your kids might also feel relieved or happy to have more time in a duty station you’re enjoying, even though others might feel differently. Try to take time to acknowledge and process these emotions together, allowing yourself the space to grieve the initial expectations and communicate openly with your family.
Seek support from fellow military spouses: Connect with other military spouses who have experienced similar delays or who just “get it.” Lean on their support, advice, and understanding to help you navigate the emotional roller coaster. Message me anytime (my contact info is below) – you know I’ve been in this spot and I’m happy to listen or help in any way I can!
Take care of yourself (don’t skip this one!): Think about what you truly need to decompress – is it something calm like meditation or reading, or something to distract your mind and burn off angry energy like an intense workout? Coffee with a close friend to unload some of your emotions? My biggest piece of advice is to take a moment to listen to what you *actually* need, and then meet those needs in an intentional way. From there, incorporate self-care practices into your daily routine (even 5 mins is great!) to reduce stress and enhance your overall wellness.

Practical Steps for Dealing with a Delayed Military Move

Managing Housing and Logistics

Communicate with housing offices and landlords: Especially if you’ve already communicated your intent to move out, keep open lines of communication with your housing office or landlord. Inform them about the delay and discuss any necessary arrangements, such as extending your lease or adjusting move-out dates. For home sales/purchases, talk with your real estate agent(s) if you’re under contract to see what’s possible at your current stage. Make a note on your calendar of new timeline requirements for notifying landlords of your intent to vacate, or when your option period ends and you need to make a decision on whether or not to move forward with a home purchase.
Extend leases or temporary accommodations: Explore the possibility of extending your lease or consider temporary accommodations until the new move date is confirmed. Creativity goes a long way here! We’ve done rent-back options to be able to stay in a home beyond the sale date, have rented a furnished VRBO for a month and negotiated a discounted rate due to the length of the stay, and have stayed in a base hotel for a month while waiting on housing.
Revisit packing and organizing strategies: Utilize the extra time to revisit your packing and organizing strategies. Take inventory, declutter, and ensure your belongings are efficiently organized to simplify the transition once the new move date arrives. Didn’t think you had time for a DITY (do it yourself move) maybe now you do! Another silver lining opportunity here!

Dealing with Sudden Changes in Childcare or School Plans

Communicate with childcare providers and schools: Notify your childcare providers or schools about the change in plans.. Discuss any necessary adjustments to schedules or enrollment to ensure a smooth transition.
Research alternative childcare options: Explore alternative childcare options, such as summer camps, daycares, or trusted family members who can provide assistance during the extended period. Research options that align with your child’s needs and your preferences and reach out to your local community for leads!
Prioritize mental and emotional well-being for children: During this transition, kids might have a lot of big feelings and not know how to express them. Maintain open communication, ask them how they are feeling and let them know however they feel is okay, engage in activities that help them see the opportunities in this shift, and find a few things that can be stable and constant for them during this uncertain time. In our family, we have a Friday Family Date Night where we order pizza and watch a movie, or go out to a local restaurant together. It’s a tradition we can do from anywhere, no matter what’s happening with our moving timeline or where we’re living.

Managing Finances and Budgeting

Review financial plans and adjust budgets: Take a comprehensive look at your financial plans and adjust your budget to accommodate the delay. Prioritize essential expenses, identify areas where you can cut back, and ensure financial stability during this period. If you don’t have a budget yet or don’t know where to start, many bases and churches offer Financial Peace University and it is a fantastic resource for anyone who wants to take control of their finances. Financial wellness is a huge passion of mine, and I volunteer as a Financial Peace University coordinator at our current duty station, where our chapel offers the course to military families for FREE!
Explore employment opportunities or remote work options: Consider exploring temporary employment opportunities or remote work options to supplement your income during the delay – this is more time to pad your emergency fund or prepare for moving expenses.
Consider a full or partial DITY (do it yourself) move: If you now have time to do a full or partial DITY move, this is another way to earn money by taking on the labor of packing and moving your own household goods instead of the military contracting movers to do it for you. You will need to pay out of pocket for moving expenses on the front so plan accordingly, but you will be reimbursed for expenses up to the amount it would have cost the government to move you. There’s a lot that goes into this, so use this time to do your homework and check out PCS like a Pro – Your Smooth Move for all the best resources and tips on how to plan and execute a successful DITY move!

Nurturing Relationships and Support Systems

Maintain open communication with friends and family: Stay connected with your support network of friends and family. Share your situation and feelings with them, and please don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. How many of us would jump at the chance to help a friend if we knew they could use some company while packing, an extra hand with the kids while you’re trying to make a million phone calls to adjust your moving timeline, or a girls night out to soak up the bonus time you have together!
Utilize online resources and military spouse groups: Tap into online resources and engage with military spouse groups to find support and guidance. These communities offer a wealth of knowledge, shared experiences, and practical tips for navigating delays and military moves. If you’re not already connected to your service branch’s specific group within Wives of the Armed Forces (all groups pinned at the top here) and PCS like a Pro – Your Smooth Move, join them now!
Finish your experience bucket list: Bonus time might not be what you expected at your current duty station, but it can also be a great way to check off those last experiences from your bucket list. I discovered some of my favorite places in the days and weeks leading up to our move, and I wished I found them sooner! For kids especially, this can be a really positive way to look forward to the extra time, so make a list together then go out and find those awesome spots that you never got around to trying!

Taking Care of Your Mental, Emotional, and Physical Health

I touched on the importance of self-care earlier, and want to add a few practical tips for how you can focus on other aspects of your health – because moving in general is stressful. Delayed military moves, even more so. As a health coach, I know that one of the best ways to combat stress and remain healthy in mind, body, and spirit is to be intentional about how you prioritize your health, especially when life throws you an unexpected curve ball.

Emphasize the positives of the delay: Try and shift your perspective and focus on the positive aspects of the delay. Use the extra time to strengthen family bonds, pursue personal interests, or explore the local community. Embrace the opportunity for growth and new experiences, and be on the lookout for those silver linings!
Make movement and workouts a priority: Engage in regular physical activity to alleviate stress and improve overall well-being. Similar to what I shared above with regard to self-care, think about how you’re feeling and what you need, then choose your movement or workout based on that. Are you feeling anxious and need to calm down? A slow workout like yoga might be great for that. Frustrated and need to sweat out some emotions? A high-intensity workout or a fast run could be the fix. Feeling down and depressed and want to regain some energy? Get your heart rate up and let the benefit from the endorphins raise your spirit!
Eat for how you want to feel, and push those easy buttons! Nutrition plays a huge role in how we feel both physically and mentally. Food is energy so when I choose what to eat, I’m choosing the energy I’m bringing in. Lean proteins, crisp veggies, and fresh fruit all give me a burst of energy and when I’m running stressed, it definitely helps to keep them on hand! Easy buttons for me are things that make nutrition simple. I look for ready-to-go protein such as rotisserie chicken, hard-boiled and de-shelled eggs, or deli meats, and pre-chopped veggies and fruits – all things that make the fastest and easiest choice the one that also leaves me feeling great about how I’m fueling my body.

While a delayed military move can present challenges, it also offers an opportunity to prioritize your overall wellness. By understanding and managing your emotions, effectively managing logistics, nurturing relationships, and prioritizing financial well-being, mental and emotional health, and movement, you can navigate through this period with resilience and positivity. Remember, military life requires adaptability, and you are equipped with the strength to overcome any obstacles that come your way. Embrace this journey, take care of yourself, and trust in your ability to thrive amidst change.

Meet Casie

Casie is a Space Force spouse and mom to a fun-loving preschooler. She and her husband have been stationed in five states with the Air Force, Navy, and Army over the last ten years of their marriage. As a lifelong athlete with a degree in International Health and Development, she is passionate about all things relating to personal wellness and thrives when she is active, connected to her community, and serving others. She currently works as a health coach, designs and leads wellness workshops and a virtual wellness community, and coordinates Financial Peace University at her current duty station. You can connect with her and find more military wellness education and resources on her Instagram: @casie.rendon.wellness or on Facebook.