So you met this super cute and interesting guy but his career in the Air Force is keeping the two of you geographically apart. Girlfriend, you have come to the right place! We are filled with a sisterhood of women who have walked this same path before you! Most ladies I know that have been through long distance dating have all mentioned coming to a figurative fork in the road in their relationships. Whether y’all have been together for 2 years and he is just now moving away, or you met him by chance and have to decide whether or not to go all in on a long distance relationship, your decision can seem daunting! Here are some of my personal take-a-ways from my own long distance experience and some tips to make your relationship successful.
Trust is something that takes time to build but how you communicate what you are feeling/doing/wanting shows your partner that you respect the time and emotions they are putting into this relationship.
COMMUNICATION=RESPECT
In long distance relationships, there has to be a lot of trust between you and your significant other. When I was dating my husband, he was my first long distance relationship. Before him, it was a line of too-cool athletes who could never really settle into a relationship groove. There are many different names for guys like them…but I’ll leave it to you to fill in the blanks:) I had no idea what I was getting myself into with my husband but what helped us out the most was when he was just simply honest and upfront with me concerning his job, our relationship expectations, and how he was feeling about us. This level openness was something that I had not been exposed to in previous relationships that I had been a part of. He was honest about how he was spending his time, who he was with, and how he felt about his day/me. These are all things that may come naturally in a local relationship, but take effort to convey in a long distance one. Trust is something that takes time to build but how you communicate what you are feeling/doing/wanting shows your partner that you respect the time and emotions they are putting into this relationship.
ENJOY YOUR “ME” TIME
This is so bittersweet, because the feelings associated with missing someone are SO REAL. But in this season of dating (which truly is just a season!), take advantage of the time that you are able to be selfish! Go out with your girlfriends, study abroad, heck…watch that trash TV show when it airs while the rest of us married/local relationship WAFs have to wait for our spouses to be working/on a mission to indulge, ha! Not saying that you shouldn’t make time for girlfriends, travel, and the Kardashians when you are finally geographically close to your significant other, it is just so much easier while you two are apart and really does a number in helping develop you as an individual, instead of you as a part of a relationship. Being able to ride solo and not be tied as a package deal while dating is definitely a perk of long distance dating and will help you out in the future during long TDYs.
KNOW THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP MAY (WILL) LOOK DIFFERENT THAN YOUR FRIENDS
And how cool is that?? I remember thinking how existentially different my relationship seemed in comparison to all my friends. Heck, no one asked me for advice on how to actually date someone that is in the same town…I would be clueless! But in long distance dating, especially with someone in active duty, your priorities just look a bit different than a normal relationship. This really affects how you communicate, how you choose to spend your weekends (You want to see them twice in one month because you miss them extra? DO IT!), and even how you spend/save your money. What your significant other is doing or training for is serious business and therefore, your relationship may seem a lot more serious – a lot faster than your friends relationships may have.
LONG DISTANCE CAN BE SO REWARDING
Y’all, I am a huge fan of long distance dating. While I am quite content to be out of the dating scene, haha, I would do long distance dating all over again to get the same result! All of the tips above are some of the best parts about it! For me personally, my husband and I grew together so quickly during our hour(s) long phone calls over the two years that we were apart. While there is a range of strong emotions you’ll experience during the long distance dating phase, those emotions are what make long distance relationships so real. Especially in preparation for life as a WAF where missing your partner is something you end up experiencing quite often. Dating long distance is the perfect building block to prepare you for what’s ahead!
