Author Michelle Tillis Lederman shares in her book, 11 Laws of Likability, that “Whether they stem from business or personal situations, our relationships are what support us, connect us, and allow us to progress in all aspects of our lives.”
But let’s face it…we, as military spouses, have the challenge of maintaining personal and/or professional relationships due to the big 3 letters…PCS! The moment that we develop connections within the communities of the duty station that we are assigned to, it can all change in an instant the moment that our spouse is told that they will be getting reassigned to another base. The whole process of building connections must start over and repeatedly can feel difficult and challenging, especially while we are facing a pandemic or are juggling multiple responsibilities within our households. However, the process can be super easy!
Now I know I might sound a bit crazy but trust me…building a professional network can be super easy! In fact, I have come up with 5 tips that have helped me in my journey in developing professional relationships as my spouse and I PCS to different bases, and they have helped me not only find a job but also connect me more within the communities we have resided in.
1. BUILD GENUINE RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE YOU MEET BY BEING YOUR MOST AUTHENTIC SELF.
Relationships are not supposed designed to be transactional in focus. They are designed to help us grow as people and help others grow as Michelle Tillis Lederman’s book describes. While people you may network with do want to learn about your professional and/or educational journey, they also want to learn who you are as a person…your most authentic self. When I PCSed to Patrick Space Force Base recently, everyone that I was connected with did not just ask me to explain to them my resume. In fact, they asked me all the places that my spouse and I have lived and what my passions in life are. What connected us was not the contents of our resumes, but the contents of hearts and minds, which was to find ways to better our community. These connections led to the job that I am in now not only because of my resume, but also my passion to help my community grow, develop, and better serve its residents and businesses. The more you focus on building genuine relationships and not transactional relationships, the more likely that you will gain relationships that are filled with strength, support, and mentorship that will last beyond your residency in that community.
2. THE POWER OF TECHNOLOGY AND SOCIAL MEDIA IS REAL…TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT!
When I mentioned that my spouse and I PCSed to Patrick Space Force Base, I forgot to mention that we did it in the middle of the pandemic and had to quarantine for 2 weeks in TLF. Now you’re probably going to ask, “How did you build and maintain all of the professional connections you did while living in TLF?” Well, let me tell you, it was all because of the power of using the technology that was available to me, and I, literally, TOOK ADVANTAGE OF IT! It started off as me sitting on the couch in our TLF and me getting a phone call from a colleague in Albuquerque asking me how I was doing. When I told him that I moved, he told me that his best friend is the CEO of a local credit union in Brevard County, and he would introduce us via email. Fast forward a couple of days later, I am talking to him on the phone and at the same time, receiving LinkedIn friend requests and emails from his colleagues wanting to schedule a time to virtually meet with me or talk to them on the phone. This person went out of their way to help someone that they did not know personally to feel welcomed in a brand-new community, even while in TLF and not communicating with them face to face. Technology has been developed throughout the years to find ways to bring people together no matter where they are in the world. Allow technology to help you build your connections by scheduling virtual meetings or phone conferences so you can show your authentic self to everyone, no matter where you are!
3. BE PUNCTUAL IN YOUR COMMUNICATION WITH OTHERS. PEOPLE ARE TAKING THE TIME TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU, SO RETURN THAT SAME RESPECT AND COMMUNICATE WITH THEM BACK.
When I said to take advantage of the powers that technology and social media offer earlier, I truly mean it! Check your messages in your social media accounts, email, or phone, and if someone contacts you, respond to them in a timely manner. Building a genuine relationship, as I mentioned earlier, is important in this context, especially in showing who you are as a person. You can change or solidify the impression you make on someone if you are punctual with your responses, as well as punctual in your communication with people that they recommend connecting with on your own. In fact, this happened to me with a colleague that was advised to connect with me by the local credit union CEO. The gentleman was not sure about me at first but thought if the credit union CEO saw something positive in me, then he should give me a chance and contact me. Because I contacted him right after he reached out to me via LinkedIn, scheduled a time to meet via Zoom, and his connections told him that I contacted them right away, he told me that his impression of me changed. He was impressed with my punctuality and willingness to communicate with colleagues of his own so quickly. He continues to share this story with many of the colleagues he introduces me to this very day! Let’s face it, the world is now leaning upon telecommunication technology and social media to become connected and stay connected with others, but if you take advantage of technology and social media’s power by staying true to being punctual and being genuine, then your professional network will continue to grow and develop even further.
4. DON’T BE AFRAID TO THINK OUTSIDE OF THE BOX TO FIND WAYS TO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE.
This tip did not come into realization until a fellow military spouse brought this up with me during a Zoom interview that I did with her regarding professional network development and maintenance. After the interview, I realized that the professional network path truly was not predominantly conventional. While I took the most common path, which was joining the Facebook groups that affiliate with my current base, and began to connect with the local spouses to learn about ways to get involved in the community or job opportunities in the local area, I did my own research and utilized the personal connections that I have made to lead me to connections to representatives of larger organizations, such as the local chamber of commerce and economic development representatives. I would inquire with my connections and other military spouses about ways that I can interact with the community, introduce myself, and start building connections with even more people. Leaning upon the network that you are developing to help you further connect with others within your interested career field and/or passion is the most effective way to think outside of the box. While using connecting with people through Facebook is an effective tool to get all the inside information on the best places to eat, socialize, or enroll children into school, a good way to truly think outside of the box is to find ways to build connections within your new community that can help navigate you around the local industries and agencies that are within your career field or fulfill your passions in life. In fact, this method led to my connections with CareerSource Brevard, which is a local workforce development board in Brevard County, Florida. I was connected to the organization because they specialize in helping people find work, especially military spouses. As I communicated with my contact and further developed my professional relationship with this person, I was informed that a position became available and, after applying and completing interviews, I was offered the job! Currently, my experiences as a military spouse are being relied upon by CareerSource Brevard to determine more ways that the organization can further support the military and their families. Overall, thinking outside of the box can lead you down a path that can change your life if you give it a chance.
5. NOTHING IN LIFE IS QUICK. TAKE TIME TO FOCUS ON DEVELOPING RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE AND NURTURING THEM. THE FRUITS OF YOUR LABOR WILL COME TO YOU AT THE RIGHT MOMENT.
Now I know with me and many of us, this would be a challenge. In my case, I had a steady full-time job for 3.5 years at my spouse’s last base and was asked to uproot all of it and start over again at a new base. Preparing for the PCS, traveling to the next base, and settling in can all be stressful in it itself, and adding a job search and/or introducing yourself to a new community can be even more stressful because time seems to never be on our side. I spent 3 months searching for a job and leaning upon my connections to help me get job leads and spread my resume out to the masses. As the first and second months went by and I still had no job, I became discouraged because a job was not becoming available to me “fast enough”. I cried in my spouse’s arms feeling defeated because I could not find a job. However, what he said will always hold true in my heart and will help me get through future job hunts because of a PCS…nothing in life is quick. The fruits of your labor will come to you at the right moment. As you make connections with people, focus on developing that relationship to where you and the other person are making it stronger together. That, in itself, takes time! If you put the work into developing and nurturing the relationship, the other person reciprocates it back to you. Life works in mysterious ways, and it will never go quite how you want it to go, but one thing that will remain constant is the relationships that you make with people. The relationships that we make with others will support us and help us progress if we develop and nurture them in a positive way.
Overall, these tips can be applied to any person, no matter if you consider yourself outgoing, introverted, or a bit of both, because the most important part of the connection that you develop is…YOU! So go forth, think outside of the box, and start connecting with others because you never know, your life could possibly change!
MEET DEIDRE
